Mommy Konfessions: First Child Mistakes

When I first became a mom I read all the books and blogs about babies and toddlers and I thought I had it all figured out. I was still scared to death, but I really thought I had it all under control.

Well, there's nothing like some time and a second child to realize how wrong I was.

My boys

I've made so many stupid little mistakes with William that I am now trying to rectify with Jacob. Just to list a few:

• Allowing him to watch too much TV
• Letting him have a binkie for so long
• Letting him have a bottle in bed
• Not enforcing table manners
• Not taking care of his teeth from the beginning
• Letting him graze all day long

You know, stuff like that.

And at the time that I did, or did not, do these things with Will, it all made sense. He loved his binkie from day one. It kept him happy and calm. As he got older and could hold his own bottle, and then sippy cup, he wouldn't sleep without it. Letting him graze all day, in front of the TV and not really forcing him to sit and eat meals with the family made him happy.

But the bottom line here is, I was being partially lazy and just willing to keep him happy so that he wouldn't scream and cry all the time. This stuff starts so innocently. I worked during the first year of Will's life and hated it. So by the time he was a year and a half and I became a stay at home mom, I spoiled him out of guilt.

It just became easy to give him what he wanted. It wasn't until we were around other people that I realized that William was the person in control in our relationship. And then I had Jacob and I realized that my kids needed more discipline. And so I tried.

But it's still so hard during the first year of any baby's life. You can't really spoil an infant and they are so demanding, I just got used to giving Jacob, and Will, anything they wanted. It felt easy, at the time. Until I realized I was pretty much their slave, and I did not like that feeling.

Now that William is four and Jacob almost two, I see more and more the mistakes I made. It is so hard to try to fix those things, but it is absolutely necessary. So now, the TV is turned off at 3 pm everyday, no matter what. I've begun regulating their meal and snack times. We already broke Will of his binkie and then bottle-in-bed habits, but we still need to break Jacob of having milk in bed.

Damage has already been done to William's teeth, but we now brush everyday and so does Jacob. And I'm sure as time goes on, I'll find more stuff that I wish I had tackled earlier in their lives.

So to all my fellow parents out there, know this: You will make mistakes with the first, maybe even second, child. Those mistakes are fixable. It'll be a lot of work, but worth it. So just keeping working on doing what you think is best for your child.

What are some things you realize now that you could have done better when first became a parent? Leave a comment! Thanks for reading and have a great day!

It's been a while...

Wow, um, yeah, I totally skipped January. My bad. The beginning of the new year has been kind of crazy. I have all these goals for this year and things I want to improve. My resolutions list is pretty long, maybe too long. But it's doable.

Looking back over last year, I realized that I didn't do much. Nothing major happened and I just kind of floated along in life and didn't accomplish much of anything. But this year will be different. The key will be to not get overwhelmed.

I'll just briefly go over some of my goals:

1. Improve my spirituality. This includes going to church every week (I get lazy, a lot) and doing the daily stuff of reading my scriptures and saying prayer. I've struggled with that one for a while.
2. Make and keep to a budget. Another thing we've been meaning to do for a while, but just keep skipping over. But this year we're going to start knocking out some debt.
3. More discipline and structure for the kids. Jacob is totally passed the do whatever he wants all day stage and I need to get William ready for preschool.
4. Health stuff. Daniel and I are going to start working out regularly and I'm trying to do more good home cooked meals and less fast food.
5. And finally, my writing goals. Which include, finishing my current project (which might happen this weekend), start a new project and to update my blogs once a week.

It's a lot, but I've got a year, so I think I can do it. Just have to adjust the daily schedule a bit and stop being so lazy. I'm insanely lazy.

Anyway, as I said in #5, I'm going to keep up with my blogs this year *pause for laughter* yeah, yeah, I know. :) But I've got a lot of ideas and stuff.

So what do you have to look forward to? Well, I plan on updating this blog every Friday and the Writing blog on Wednesdays. Some topics we'll cover here are, Kricket Krafts, Kricket Kooks, more Mommy Konfessions, more book reviews and just whatever else I do in my life.

So please, stick around, I want to do more with this blog and I can't do that without your help and support. :)

Happy Valentines Day and have a great weekend!

P.S. I'm going to be doing some adjustments to the blog today, so it might look weird for a bit.

 

Happy Thanksgiving!

And here follows the obligatory gratitude post. ;)

But seriously, I have a lot to be thankful for. If you're friends with me on Facebook, you'll notice that I don't do the daily gratitude thing in November because, well, why try to do something I know I'll forget to do two days in?

So here follows some things that I am grateful for this year.

1. My family. Daniel is the most amazing husband and father ever. My boys are gems (most of the time). I'm so lucky that I live near my sisters and that my parents are able to come visit us, as well as being not too terribly far from Daniel's family. Oh, and Happy, I love my dog. :)
2. My job. I'm so grateful that I get to be a stay at home mom. As hard as it can be sometimes, I love being home with William and Jacob. Also, I love being able to spend a whole day in my PJ's. ;)
3. Writing. I love to write and create new worlds and characters to populate those worlds. I love coming up with stories. Again, it's not always easy, but it's worth it.
4. All the material things I take for granted. I live in a nice place. We have a good car. I'm able to buy food, clothes and other, less essential things. I love the internet and the TV. And books, so many books!
5. My religion. I'm grateful to be a member of The Church of Jesus Christ and Latter-Day Saints. It gives me peace and direction in my life, as well as connecting me to good people and new friends.

Well, I think that about covers it. I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving (if you celebrate it) and try not to over eat.

Oh, a programming note: Starting next week I'm going to start a series of writing tips over at Kricket Writes. I've been thinking about doing this for a while and I finally figured out a plan. So look forward to that. :)

And Happy Thursday! Thanks for reading!

Happy Birthday To Me!

I have a cold. Picked it up at the in-laws, go figure. :)

Anyway! Vacation was great, the boys had a blast. I know they've had a good day when Will comes up to me and asks to go to bed. But, it's good to be home.

Anyway, I'm not sure what I'm going to do for my birthday. I want to go out and stuff, but it all depends on how I feel by the time Daniel comes home from work. So off I go to make my self feel better.

Have a good week, dear reader! And HAPPY BIRTHDAY to all my birthday buddies out there. 9/9 is the best!

Kranky Kricket: Smart Phones Don't Like Toilets

So, I didn't update this last week because I had family in town and I went an entire week without getting on my computer. Minor miracle for me. But I'm back now and we shall move forward into the Krankiness. :)

Let's talk about smartphones and the people that provide them to us. About three weeks ago I upgraded to a smart phone and I was very excited. It can do everything my Kindle does, plus make phone calls. Only thing that kept me from putting my Kindle aside for good was the tiny phone screen. I don't like squinting at screens.

Anyway, when I bought the phone, the nice guy at the store talked me into getting insurance on the phone. At first I almost didn't do it. I've never once broken any of my previous dumb phones. I always managed to keep them safe in my pocket and away from sticky/slippery children hands. But as the salesman was describing the insurance, I got this image of Will or Jacob dropping my phone into the toilet so I went ahead and signed up for the insurance.

And lo and behold, I dropped the phone into the toilet. Serves me right trying to multitask at 5 a.m. I tried to save it as fast as possible but it was a goner.

So then I went to my local cell phone store to get a new phone and that's when stuff started to get annoying. Apparently, not all Verizon stores are the same. See I got the phone at the Flatiron Mall in Bloomfield with my sister. And the stores that are in the mall operate differently than a stand alone stores, at least with the insurance and stuff. So after driving all the way to one store and waiting around a bit with Will and Jacob in tow, I'm told I have to go all the way back to the original store.

I got sick later that day so I had to wait until the next day to drive over half an hour just so the salesman could call the insurance place for me and then I talk to the insurance lady and get it all settled. $100 later and now I'm just waiting for my new phone to arrive in the mail sometime tomorrow.

Of course, with all of this, I've lost my contacts and all the pictures that were on the now dead smart phone. I didn't have a ton of stuff on there yet, but it's enough to be annoying.

But I've learned my lesson. Never take a smart phone into the bathroom with you and make sure you're paying attention to all the fine print.

And that's my crankiness for the week. I hope your's has been less irritating. :) Thanks as always for reading and have a good weekend!

Kricket's Happy Korner: Father's Day

So yesterday was Father's Day and of course I got to thinking about the fathers in my life.

And, obviously, the first one to pop into my mind was my own dad.

Dad and William on a merry-go-round

He's kind of awesome, but I'm kind of biased. :) I know I'm really lucky to have such a great dad in my life. He's happy, fun loving, and smarter than a lot of people give him credit for. I've been told we're a lot a like and I used to hate that growing up, but now I'm proud of it. He's a terrific dad and an amazing granddad. William and Jacob adore him.

And then there's Daniel.

Jacob, Daniel & William

I could not have asked for a better father to my children. He loves hanging out with his boys and is willing to do everything for them. He's patient when I'm not and shares in all the responsibilities. I couldn't do all of this without him.

So Happy Father's Day to my dad, Daniel, and all the other great fathers out there. I hope you had a good day yesterday and that those feelings will lift you up throughout the week.

Potty Training & Advice

NOTE: I apologize to any of my readers who aren't parents or who just don't care about this kind of stuff. You can always check out The Writing Blog. :)

We have made a great big step in potty training this week. William is consistently pooping in the potty and hasn't had any accidents of any kind in almost a week. Trust me, a week is a long time in Potty Training Land.

When I started potty training (and I say the rest of this as someone who's still in the thick of it, this stuff ain't over by any means) I did a ton of research about when to know your child is ready and how to go about it and all that jazz. And the one thing I saw repeated over and over is to trust your instincts.

There are some other basics to getting started. Like:

A. Be sure your child can communicate well. There's a lot of explaining that needs to be done. Your child should be able to understand you and vise-versa.

B. Persistence  Once you start, don't give up. Take breaks if you need to, if you or your toddler is just too stressed out by the whole thing. But don't give up.

C. And as I said, trust your instincts. You know your child better than anyone else. You'll know when they're ready and you'll know what strategy will work best to help them learn.

The strategy we've used for Will has been pretty straight forward. In the beginning I had (still have) a potty seat in the living room and I'd make him sit on it ever half hour or so. Every 15 minutes kind of drove me crazy. We also spent a few days running around commando so he didn't have the security of going in his pants.

Once he went in the potty properly we celebrated and rewarded him with cookies. Will loves cookies. After a while he began to understand that going potty=cookies and began to go as often as possible.

Learning to poop took a little longer. We began using a chart to mark when he went potty and when he had accidents. I think that was more for me than him, but he likes getting stars. And then I began not letting him do anything in the morning until he pooped in the potty. Again he went pantless. Will loves his TV time in the morning and was willing to do whatever it took to get his TV.

It did not take long. Within a day he got the idea and being rewarded with TWO cookies after pooping is the best!

So now, my next step is to get the potty seat from the living room to the bathroom. Will's going to miss being able to watch shows and potty at the same time, but that's what books are for!

In other kid news, Jacob now has two teeth and is this close to walking on his own. I'm kind of freaking out about having two little ones walking around. Things were easier when Jacob couldn't move much.

And that's what my life has been consumed with lately.

Thanks for reading! Happy Thursday!

Recent Adventures

This is a photo dumb that I'll try to make interesting. ;)

William (2, almost 3, years old)
Jacob (5 months old)

An X-Wing replica at Wings Over the Rockies

Daniel pushing William around in a peddle plane at Wings Over the Rockies.
He tried nearly every plane they had.

Me in a tiny plane named The Cricket.
We thought it would be fitting. ;)

In other news, I got my hair cut and dyed this weekend. I'm still trying to take a good self portrait so I can share it but my face just doesn't want to be photogenic today.

Thanks for reading! Happy Monday!

Mommy Confessions

Seeing as this blog is titled "Kricket's Konfessions" I've got somethings to confess that I haven't before and it has to do with motherhood. Most people know that being a mommy is freaking hard. It's hard with one kid and then it just gets harder with a second. But for me, in some respects, Jacob has been a lot easier than William was at this stage.

You see, giving birth to William was one of the worst experiences of my life. I was in labor for over 24 hours and I spent two and a half hours trying to push him out. There were a lot of things that went wrong in the day and a half it took to bring Will into this world that made an already scary thing that much more terrifying. And even though William came out perfect and healthy, I ended up being torn up physically, mentally and emotionally.

I am not exaggerating when I say that I remember next to nothing about the first couple months of William's life. Because of how much physical pain I was in I was taking a lot of Percecet for the first couple weeks. I forced myself to stop taking it, despite the pain, because I didn't like the way it made me feel. Also, I was worried about how it was effecting Will.

I tried to nurse Will for the first three weeks of his life. It was agonizing. Will didn't take to nursing very easily and I learned very quickly that I could not function without sleep. After only a few days, I dreaded feeding my baby. According to my husband and my mother, I cried every time I had to feed him. It was a miserable experience for all of us.

It took my mother, who is a huge nursing advocate, to tell me that I should formula feed William for the misery to stop. It's like I needed someone to give me permission. I felt guilty for not giving my baby what everyone said was best for him. But once I started bottle feeding him, things began to get better.

As I said, there were also some mental/emotional concerns as well. During the delivery, I felt my mind crack. I was so panicked and out of control and terrified. I thought I was prepared. I went to all the classes, read all the books, but I had no clue. And honestly, no one really does their first time, but other circumstances just made everything worse.

I was a mess when I got home. With my mental state and the hormone changes that all new moms go through, I was barely sane. Little things would set me off. William crying would send me into a panic. There were many, many times that I just had to leave him in his crib and close the door while he screamed. I was horrified by the waves of violence that would surge through me.

In retrospect, I had quickly crossed the line from baby blues to full on postpartum depression. And poor Daniel, he had no idea how to help me. Luckily, my mom came to help.

Two things pulled me back to myself, bottle feeding and going back to work. When I switched to the bottle I was finally able to get some sleep as well as do other things instead of holding a baby to my breast all day. And even though I really didn't want to go back to work, having something else to focus on and interacting with other adults really helped me. There was a time where every morning I'd wake up and think "Oh, I just found another little piece of me."

It hasn't been until just recently that I could admit that I was very very close to the edge there. It's terrifying to think back on but it also makes me so grateful for what I have now.

Giving birth to Jacob and this first month of his life have been a breeze in comparison. I was calm and relaxed through the delivery; no panic, no loosing control. And while I'm still sleep deprived most days, I can't help but smile at my sweet little boy.

Of course, that doesn't mean that I don't loose my temper sometimes or even wonder why in the world I had a second baby; but at the end of the day I can still look at both of my sons and smile and feel this overwhelming love for them.

I am not a perfect mom, but they are perfect spirits that Heavenly Father has graced me with. I don't know how I deserve them and I pray everyday that I don't screw them up. I try my hardest everyday and some days are better than others. Being a mom isn't easy and some days I really wonder if it's worth it, but as long as William keeps smiling at me and Jacob continues to sleep best when I'm holding him then I guess I'm doing something right.

William 2.5 years old and Jacob 1 month

He has arrived!

This here is Jacob! He was born Monday, April 23, 2012 at 4:58pm. He weighed 6lbs 9oz and is 19.5 in. long. He's perfectly healthy and is a strong little boy.

I was induced Monday morning and the whole process was actually pleasant. I was nervous because I'd heard that being induced was hard/long but I was pretty relaxed most of the time.  Of course, my previous experience with giving birth was rather traumatic, so anything even marginally better would have been fine. But this was a complete 180. I can now finally see what women mean when they talk about how beautiful giving birth is; I never believed it last time.

So everyone is settling in fine. William is fascinated with "Baby!" and is still trying to get used to the new routine.  I'm already suffering from lack of sleep, but it's not that bad. Physically I'm doing a lot better now than I was this time after Will was born. I foresee things just continuing to improve from here on out and that gives me a lot of peace of mind.

Even Happy approves of our new addition. :)

My boys!

So there's the baby update!

As of now, I have no clue how often I'll be able to update this. I want to get back into a normal schedule, but my real life has to get in line first. So I guess I'll see y'all when I see ya!

Happy Thursday! and Thanks for reading!