Mommy Konfessions: First Child Mistakes

When I first became a mom I read all the books and blogs about babies and toddlers and I thought I had it all figured out. I was still scared to death, but I really thought I had it all under control.

Well, there's nothing like some time and a second child to realize how wrong I was.

My boys

I've made so many stupid little mistakes with William that I am now trying to rectify with Jacob. Just to list a few:

• Allowing him to watch too much TV
• Letting him have a binkie for so long
• Letting him have a bottle in bed
• Not enforcing table manners
• Not taking care of his teeth from the beginning
• Letting him graze all day long

You know, stuff like that.

And at the time that I did, or did not, do these things with Will, it all made sense. He loved his binkie from day one. It kept him happy and calm. As he got older and could hold his own bottle, and then sippy cup, he wouldn't sleep without it. Letting him graze all day, in front of the TV and not really forcing him to sit and eat meals with the family made him happy.

But the bottom line here is, I was being partially lazy and just willing to keep him happy so that he wouldn't scream and cry all the time. This stuff starts so innocently. I worked during the first year of Will's life and hated it. So by the time he was a year and a half and I became a stay at home mom, I spoiled him out of guilt.

It just became easy to give him what he wanted. It wasn't until we were around other people that I realized that William was the person in control in our relationship. And then I had Jacob and I realized that my kids needed more discipline. And so I tried.

But it's still so hard during the first year of any baby's life. You can't really spoil an infant and they are so demanding, I just got used to giving Jacob, and Will, anything they wanted. It felt easy, at the time. Until I realized I was pretty much their slave, and I did not like that feeling.

Now that William is four and Jacob almost two, I see more and more the mistakes I made. It is so hard to try to fix those things, but it is absolutely necessary. So now, the TV is turned off at 3 pm everyday, no matter what. I've begun regulating their meal and snack times. We already broke Will of his binkie and then bottle-in-bed habits, but we still need to break Jacob of having milk in bed.

Damage has already been done to William's teeth, but we now brush everyday and so does Jacob. And I'm sure as time goes on, I'll find more stuff that I wish I had tackled earlier in their lives.

So to all my fellow parents out there, know this: You will make mistakes with the first, maybe even second, child. Those mistakes are fixable. It'll be a lot of work, but worth it. So just keeping working on doing what you think is best for your child.

What are some things you realize now that you could have done better when first became a parent? Leave a comment! Thanks for reading and have a great day!

Mommy Confessions: My Big Fat Lazy Bum

This, you will notice, is not the usual Happy Korner, but it's not a Kranky post either. It's confession time!

Sometimes I feel like I'm the laziest person I know. I've been a lazy, procrastinating, lazy person most of my life. Why did I have less than average grades in school? Too lazy to do my homework. Why did I flunk out of college? Too lazy to go to class. Why did I have so many sick days when I was working? Too lazy to go to work. Why does my house get dirty and stay that way for days, if not weeks? Too lazy to get off my ass and do anything but the bare necessities.

Oh, I come up with all kinds of excuses for my self and those around me. I'm sick, I'm tired, the boys were crazy, I'm in a bad mood. The list goes on and on. But what it really gets down too is that I allow myself to get distracted with things. Books, games, this damn internet. I lack self discipline, period.

But man, what really gets under my skin is people who think that being a stay-at-home mom is easy. That we just get to do whatever we want and sit around and watch soap operas all day while we eat tootsie rolls (I do neither, I prefer M&M and Star Trek reruns ;)) Being a SAHM means that you have to be your own boss. You have to learn how to manage your time and keep your self on track. This is not as easy as it might seem, especially for me.

So how do I overcome this? Do I have the secret formula? No, but if you find one, please share, I'll pay you! The best I've managed to come up with is momentum. I have to get up in the morning and just get right to work and not stop until I have no more energy left. I've learned, over time, to pace my self. There was a lot of trial and error in that, but I've figured out what works for me.

And for all the tricks and tips I've learned and applied, there's still the part where I get up off my butt and actually move. Sometimes I think I need tasers on every chair and attached to all my electronics just to keep myself moving throughout the day. One day I'll have a computer smart enough to not turn on until I have proven that I got all the stuff on my to do list done.

But until then, I guess I have to hold my self accountable and not be a big fat lazy bum. Hi ho! Hi ho! It's off to do the laundry I go!

Thanks for reading and have a Marvelous Monday!

Mommy Confessions: Cleaning

When I was growing up, I hated cleaning. I mean, what kid/teenager didn't? My room was always a mess. And I (as well as my siblings) put up such a fuss when it came time to do the dishes. It's funny to think back on.

But now that I'm all grown up (riiiight) I find that cleaning isn't such a big deal. In fact, I get more annoyed by messes than anything. It does get old washing the same dishes every day and folding the same clothes every week (or more) but I come away feeling very satisfied with my self. There's no better feeling sometimes then marking something off on that mile long To Do List.

Besides, if I get the cleaning done early then I don't feel guilty for sitting around and reading/writing all day. ;)

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Thanks for reading! I know I've been spamming y'all with a million book reviews and I promise that is slowing down now that I've caught up. 

Happy Wednesday!