So I've been pretty down the last week or so. As you may know, Daniel has been trying to find a job in Colorado. He had a really promising interview two weeks ago and we have heard nothing back from them. Now I know this kind of stuff can take time, but the person Daniel interviewed with made it sound like it was a done deal and he would get in touch in a few days.
Two weeks later, nothing. We were really pinning our hopes on this. It felt like everything was going to fall into place and it's been hard for me to accept that things aren't moving as fast as we had hoped. Thus, I got depressed.
When I get like that I just want to shut down. All I want to do is watch TV and sleep. And unlike a lot of people in the country, when I get upset I can't eat. I don't feel like eating and the thought of food makes my stomach turn. So for the last couple of days that is what I have done. I've shut down, minus the time and energy it takes to care for Will. If it wasn't for Will, I might not have gotten out of bed.
Now I know this all sounds really melodramatic and that's not my intention, I'm just wanting to share my experience and the things I found that help me get out of it. So, as I said in the beginning, "Depression hurts, getting off your ass can help." And that is what I have done. I've gotten up, I've gotten dressed, done a little cleaning and now I'm updating my blogs. Once Will wakes up from his nap we're going to go shopping and maybe after dinner we'll go play outside or something. It's amazing the difference you feel just getting out of your PJ's and into real clothes. Not to mention how nice it is to walk outside and see that big orange ball up there that keeps us warm.
I wouldn't say I'm a depressed person or anything, but these moods come up every once in a while. And even though I know it's happening, it's hard to pull out of. It takes a good cry, a bit of whinnying about why my life sucks and then talking my self out of it. It's a load of fun.
I wouldn't say I'm totally happy right now though. There's a lot of things I'm not happy with in my life right now, but most of those things are out of my control, a.k.a. trying to find Daniel a job/moving. I'm a control freak, an impatient control freak, so this has been rough for me.
BUT, as long as I get off my ass and do stuff; as long as I keep moving forward and just take stuff a day at a time, I'm sure it'll all turn out fine. :)
So kids, what's today's motto? Depression hurts, getting off your ass can help. :)
Thanks for reading!
P.S. Please leave comments or something, just so that I know people read this. :D kthnxbye!
i love the fact that you said "ass" three, maybe four times in this post!!!! i do read your posts and i know how you feel! i am a control freak too and boy do i know how it feels to not have most things in life go my way!! just know that a lot of women probably envy you because you get to stay home and raise a baby :) i would kill to be able to have the choice to do that! but for some reason its not the right time for me. hopefully you get feeling better about everything soon!
ReplyDeleteThanks Ashley!
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