It's been a while...

Wow, um, yeah, I totally skipped January. My bad. The beginning of the new year has been kind of crazy. I have all these goals for this year and things I want to improve. My resolutions list is pretty long, maybe too long. But it's doable.

Looking back over last year, I realized that I didn't do much. Nothing major happened and I just kind of floated along in life and didn't accomplish much of anything. But this year will be different. The key will be to not get overwhelmed.

I'll just briefly go over some of my goals:

1. Improve my spirituality. This includes going to church every week (I get lazy, a lot) and doing the daily stuff of reading my scriptures and saying prayer. I've struggled with that one for a while.
2. Make and keep to a budget. Another thing we've been meaning to do for a while, but just keep skipping over. But this year we're going to start knocking out some debt.
3. More discipline and structure for the kids. Jacob is totally passed the do whatever he wants all day stage and I need to get William ready for preschool.
4. Health stuff. Daniel and I are going to start working out regularly and I'm trying to do more good home cooked meals and less fast food.
5. And finally, my writing goals. Which include, finishing my current project (which might happen this weekend), start a new project and to update my blogs once a week.

It's a lot, but I've got a year, so I think I can do it. Just have to adjust the daily schedule a bit and stop being so lazy. I'm insanely lazy.

Anyway, as I said in #5, I'm going to keep up with my blogs this year *pause for laughter* yeah, yeah, I know. :) But I've got a lot of ideas and stuff.

So what do you have to look forward to? Well, I plan on updating this blog every Friday and the Writing blog on Wednesdays. Some topics we'll cover here are, Kricket Krafts, Kricket Kooks, more Mommy Konfessions, more book reviews and just whatever else I do in my life.

So please, stick around, I want to do more with this blog and I can't do that without your help and support. :)

Happy Valentines Day and have a great weekend!

P.S. I'm going to be doing some adjustments to the blog today, so it might look weird for a bit.

 

2013 Is Here!

2013 is here and that means it's time to set new goals and see how quickly I forget them. ;P

Last year was a good and stressful year. Jacob was born in April and we moved to our new place in August. We saw a lot of family this year. Both sides came in the spring or summer to see Jacob and then we visited everyone for the holidays.

I'm looking forward to this year in hopes that it will be a quieter and more peaceful kind of year. I know that the world and our country is in some turmoil right now, and it doesn't look like it will get that much better this year, but if I can keep my home and family in a happy place then all is well.

So how am I going to do that? Well I've got 6 things I want to accomplish this year. Some are just for me and some are for my family as a whole, and I really believe I can do it this year. And here they are:

Kricket's 2013 Resolutions

1. Begin getting out of debt. We're finally in a place this year were we can start saving and getting rid of these credit cards and student loans hanging over our heads. I'm really excited about this.
2. Create a more structured routine. It's hard to stick to a schedule with kids, especially with a baby, but everyone needs structure and I want to create more of that this year. No more living my days by the seat of my pants, it's too easy to be lazy that way.
3. Potty train Will. I hope to start that in the next couple weeks. I really want to get Will into preschool this fall and he'll need to be potty trained before that. He's ready, I'm almost ready, Let's Do This!
4. Go to the temple once a month. Daniel and I have been slacking on this. Having small children is a great excuse not to go as often as we should, but no more! We will schedule this and find someone to watch the kids and all will be well.
5. Finish first draft of Dragons in Space. I'll talk more about this in my writing blog tomorrow.
6. Read at least 25 books. I've never kept track of how many books I read but I really should. I figured 25 was a good number to start with. I'll probably read more. I've got three books right now I want to read, just having a hard time deciding which to read first.

And that's it folks! Finances, home life, kids, spirituality, writing, reading, I think I covered all the basics of my life. :)

So what are some of your goals for this new year? Tell me in the comments, this blog isn't just about me you know (okay, stop looking so shocked).

Happy New Year and have a good week!

Facebook is Silly

Has anyone noticed this trend on Facebook?

It's kind of ridiculous isn't it? I mean, the ones about family/friends are OK I guess. It's cute to those of your family/friends who are on Facebook. But the ones that bother me are the Jesus ones. Like this:

I mean really? So by scrolling past this picture, because, frankly it's ugly, I am now a Satan lover? I'm pretty sure Christ doesn't care one tiny bit if you hit that stupid like button for a picture of Him. Trust me when I say that is not how you're going to get into heaven.

And I don't mean to be insulting to those of you who do hit that "Like" button. But wouldn't it be better to show you love for Jesus by, say, following his commandments, doing service for those in need and just being Christ-like in general? Wouldn't that mean more in the long run than the .002 seconds it took you to hit "Like"?

Yeah... Just a thought.

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Thanks for reading! Don't forget to comment! 

Have you noticed I'm posting regularly? If I keep this up you'll see book reviews every Monday & Friday and then something like what you just read on Wednesdays. :)

Happy Wednesday!

Mommy Confessions

Seeing as this blog is titled "Kricket's Konfessions" I've got somethings to confess that I haven't before and it has to do with motherhood. Most people know that being a mommy is freaking hard. It's hard with one kid and then it just gets harder with a second. But for me, in some respects, Jacob has been a lot easier than William was at this stage.

You see, giving birth to William was one of the worst experiences of my life. I was in labor for over 24 hours and I spent two and a half hours trying to push him out. There were a lot of things that went wrong in the day and a half it took to bring Will into this world that made an already scary thing that much more terrifying. And even though William came out perfect and healthy, I ended up being torn up physically, mentally and emotionally.

I am not exaggerating when I say that I remember next to nothing about the first couple months of William's life. Because of how much physical pain I was in I was taking a lot of Percecet for the first couple weeks. I forced myself to stop taking it, despite the pain, because I didn't like the way it made me feel. Also, I was worried about how it was effecting Will.

I tried to nurse Will for the first three weeks of his life. It was agonizing. Will didn't take to nursing very easily and I learned very quickly that I could not function without sleep. After only a few days, I dreaded feeding my baby. According to my husband and my mother, I cried every time I had to feed him. It was a miserable experience for all of us.

It took my mother, who is a huge nursing advocate, to tell me that I should formula feed William for the misery to stop. It's like I needed someone to give me permission. I felt guilty for not giving my baby what everyone said was best for him. But once I started bottle feeding him, things began to get better.

As I said, there were also some mental/emotional concerns as well. During the delivery, I felt my mind crack. I was so panicked and out of control and terrified. I thought I was prepared. I went to all the classes, read all the books, but I had no clue. And honestly, no one really does their first time, but other circumstances just made everything worse.

I was a mess when I got home. With my mental state and the hormone changes that all new moms go through, I was barely sane. Little things would set me off. William crying would send me into a panic. There were many, many times that I just had to leave him in his crib and close the door while he screamed. I was horrified by the waves of violence that would surge through me.

In retrospect, I had quickly crossed the line from baby blues to full on postpartum depression. And poor Daniel, he had no idea how to help me. Luckily, my mom came to help.

Two things pulled me back to myself, bottle feeding and going back to work. When I switched to the bottle I was finally able to get some sleep as well as do other things instead of holding a baby to my breast all day. And even though I really didn't want to go back to work, having something else to focus on and interacting with other adults really helped me. There was a time where every morning I'd wake up and think "Oh, I just found another little piece of me."

It hasn't been until just recently that I could admit that I was very very close to the edge there. It's terrifying to think back on but it also makes me so grateful for what I have now.

Giving birth to Jacob and this first month of his life have been a breeze in comparison. I was calm and relaxed through the delivery; no panic, no loosing control. And while I'm still sleep deprived most days, I can't help but smile at my sweet little boy.

Of course, that doesn't mean that I don't loose my temper sometimes or even wonder why in the world I had a second baby; but at the end of the day I can still look at both of my sons and smile and feel this overwhelming love for them.

I am not a perfect mom, but they are perfect spirits that Heavenly Father has graced me with. I don't know how I deserve them and I pray everyday that I don't screw them up. I try my hardest everyday and some days are better than others. Being a mom isn't easy and some days I really wonder if it's worth it, but as long as William keeps smiling at me and Jacob continues to sleep best when I'm holding him then I guess I'm doing something right.

William 2.5 years old and Jacob 1 month